About life..: December 2009

well, everyone has friends, hi-bye friends, normal friends, close friends, best friends, the friends who understand you, the friends who listen to you..there are lots lots of friends..
i would like to say friendship is like life..
it'll descend and ascend..
it need several conditions to build up a friendship..
that's timing, feelings, passions, understanding and trust..
for me,
i am proud to say i can make close friends easily,
i can touch people's heart easily,
but i did put effort..
i mean effortss..
i care, i share, i trust, i throw out whatever i have to them..
a sad thing is nothing stay forever included friendship..
Many stages we have to go through in our life,
we get used to our baby sitter,
we get used to our kindergarten's frens,
we get used to our primary school frens,
we get used to our high school frens,
we get used to our college frens,
university frens, colleagues,
imagine how many people we will meet in our life..
we have to move on, right?
once the frequency, the feelings of two people change,
isn't that is the time to leave?
Leave sounds like abandon..
but don't u think leave is prevent things getting worsen?
Let's see, if the thinking are different already,
there will be alot of disagreements...and quarrels..
Some said quarrels make two people getting closer and more understanding..
But it doesn't work on me..
I hate quarrels, it doesn't bring any even a little better to a relationship for me..
sounds selfish?
ain't that human are selfish?
Happy is the feelings we always looking for..
to be with someone that is comfortable with you, is that a wrong?
Relationships that staying physically close yet the hearts are apart?
Is that a good thing?
The close relationships doesn't need to stay physically close whereas their hearts are sticking together..
For me,
after quarrels, there's a thorn in my heart..
i'll feel awkward.. and i don't know how to communicate anymore..
Perhaps there's some mistake when i am handling with bunch of friends..
i may neglect some of them and to be harsh, abandoned them...
I usually let it be when something happened in a relationship,
I don't talk, I don't dig the N years stuff out and discuss to blame..
Because i know talk doesn't help anymore..
it's gone..
the feeling is gone, the passion is gone..
how we hold back like old times?
the main components of the friendship are absent..
I might handle thing in immature, childish, selfish ways,
but at least, I don't make things worst..

When i cared, do you show your appreciations?
When i asked, do you feel like share?

I am just a human being,
I can't give out, stay happily with everyone all the times..
i might tired, i might fed up, i might give up..
But i kept it to myself..

and I'm JC, I am not JCs..
I can't stay with everyone all the times..
I have to make decisions..
I am just a normal human being as you all do..
I did mistake, I act selfish and I can't fulfill all the needs and expectations..
I am just a human being like you..
I am not superhuman..

Forgive me if i offended anyone,
Forgive me if i did any mistakes..

I am not a kid,
I can think,
I am not retarded..
I just a person like you..

Balance point,
I should have a balance point to every of the friends..
But, if treating everyone the same..
Who'll be the close one?
and who'll disclose things to you?

Sorry if I made any wrong statements..