My failure

Today i got back my English Resit result,

and yea, i failed it again..
..............
Am i that stupid?
feel like it just a huge mistake that I am studying in IMU..
people around me are genius,
they are hardworking,
they are smart,
....................
I hope I stop comparing myself with others!
I hope that peers wouldn't affect me..
but I knew i couldn't..
Always remind myself not to compare,
I want a simple life so badly,
but why environment just force me into this?
as I grow, I found that people are getting realistic and materialistic unconsciously.
included myself.
I hate this me..
where is the happy-go-lucky me..?
Assignments,tests,reports,pbl...
drive me insane soon..
My sleeping time is messed up by me again!
I slept once i reached home around 8pm to 12am..
and i stayed up till late midnight,
need to wake up early in the morning..
SUCKS!

*i think i will get hypertensive soon due to my depress and stress level*
I knew there's always someone try to cheer me up,
try to help me out of this..
thanks to you all..
especially the sakai lor..

I hate myself more than everyone..
I dissatisfy with myself,
everything of mine..
I knew how bad am I and yet I couldn't change it..
urghhh!!
just feel hopelessness!

Come Back,Jctang!!
I want be the kid forever if i could..
I hate comparison,
I hate to compete with others!
I hate the real faces of human!!

Stop thinking bout nonsense, Life still goes on..
I still need to survive for the ones who love and care me much.
Sorry to disappoint the ones who love and care me,
I am trying to accept the norms in my life,
I am still in the process of learning,
I am trying to be the better one..
without compete with anyone..

----I was crapping all the while, don't know what I want to express through this post---