A kid

Jctang will always laugh and smile~ try to bring fun and trying to fool herself..
does anyone see Jctang cry b4?
i don't cry in front anyone~
i'll never....

i'll just emo..and crying alone..
yes,i wanted to care by people so much~
a fren of mine just fall sick recently,
when she talk to her mom and she cried and manja manja..
ya,i scolded her like a baby,so old edi still manja to mama~
haha~but deep inside my heart,how i hope i could..
how i hope i can have my favourite foods from mama when i was sick,
how i hope daddy will bring me to doctor and ask me to eat medicine..
how i hope....
just get a hug from anyone when i was down..
am i look that tough to u all?
=')
i scare to fall sick,
because when someone fall sick sure thinks alot one..
wanted to go home la,wants ppl care so much la,
this la that la~
well..im still trying to be strong~
since N years ago,i bought medicine for myself,i went to clinic myself,i cooked porridge for myself everytime when i fall sick..
i should be used to it~

In this silence night,it make me think of three people..
1st, mommy~

since young,i m just that strange with them..
they are just to busy to work to build up this family,
i understand and i'll never blame~
=)..
just that,how i hope my mommy will know what is my favourite stuffs~
hope that she could talk to me more everytime when she calls..
I just not used to be manja..
I think it's parts of my fault,so they sure think i m that tough..
I miss you,mommy...
when others around me,
they'll said miss mommy's food..
but my mommy don't cook..
i don't even can related what i miss from my mommy..
everytime when i go home,
they still work from morning to night,
i don't have much time to talk to them..
why do i miss?..
mayb just because when i look at people around me are that close to their mom and dad..
i am just jealous?..
haha~well...i still love my mommy and daddy although we don't speak much..
2nd dear chong keh sin~

a best friend of mine!
just will feel sweet when i get a msg or get nudge by her in msn?..
miss her too much~
we go through alot alot in our previous life..
jc,kehsin,jc,kehsin,jc~~~~
haha~
guess only she will understand what im trying to deliver here..
anything,I will never hesitate to tell you..
know that you will never solve my problems,but just feel better when listen to your voice or by reading what you text to me..
it's really a feeling that hard to tell..
just...you're forever my best friend no matter what..
the froggie bank with messages..
i feel touch when i read every one of the paper inside..
just like bring me back to our naive time again?..
thanks,dear...thanks to be with me everytime when i need you..
i miss you badly..and i dunno when only i can meet you..
T.T
i want you to hug me tightly when i meet you again~
3rd Tan Le Yin~

she gave me another warm family in ipoh~
have been stay in ipoh with aunty since i was 13,
when i was rebelling, and run away from home..
ya,i went to her house~her mom,grandmom,bro are just like my family too..
her mom will bring me to makan besar whenever they have special events..
her grandmom will cook nice food for me..and sew my pants for me=='
now she is already passed away..seriously miss the kindly and warm smile from her..
her brother will just tease me like my own brother,took my bicycle away and hide my shoe..
ya,he was so annoying..but i noe he cares me sometime..
and gave quite alot suggestions and advices to me..
thanks,zhong!
she is another special friend of mine,
will just miss her once i fall sick too..
coz she is the one who fetch me to buy medicine or buy me food when i was sick..
but of course not all the time..
coz not staying with her all the while de ma-__-
but still lar,her house just two rows away from my house..
damn near..
have been noe her for 5years lu~longer than keh sin~haha..
thank you..
thank you that be my side when i need you that much..
thanks for giving me a warm time in ipoh when i was alone..
thanks for bringing me to your family trip..
and surprisingly ur family allowed and spent on me...
Langkawi,Cameron and Genting~
haha~
come KL find me if you want to..
always welcome,k..
miss you~=)

Jctang is not tough, she needs care like others.. she needs a hug or a sayang by anyone when she is down..haha~ that's the reason i love to touch people's head..I knew it's warm..and can be enjoy the moment like a small kid..being sayang and manja manja.. I knew that i look too geli if i manja anyone.. yea,my outlook look like a kid,and i admit,my inner is a kid too.. a kid who trying to hide all her tears and feelings.. a kid who play happily all the while but crying alone..
too much?... haha~ ignores what i said..
just suddenly have this weird mood,and post this..
by the way, i haven complete my diary..
S.H.I.T